Blonde Witch

notes and musings on my spiritual discoveries.

006

I’m in an odd mood. Lately I’ve been unhappy and moody with everything.

Also afraid.

Three or four nights ago I had a dream about Baron Samedi coming to kill me. I know it’s silly but I’m still afraid and shaken to the core. I’m wondering if I should leave an offering for him or if I’m just being a freak again.

 

I’m hoping the reclaiming rite will lift my spirits.

005

While I love reading and learning about Paganism more and more each day, expanding my knowledge and figuring out what fits with me more I’m kind of getting sick of some of the people in the community. Maybe it’s because of how they’ve come off in their emails but I don’t think others should tell us how to worship.

I don’t think that if someone wants to keep their religion to them self instead of telling other people then they should. If they are not comfortable coming out with it then that’s their thing. It doesn’t make them any less Pagan and they should not be made to feel that way.

Over the last three days the mailing list I’m on has been bombarded with emails either supporting or not supporting that point of view and everyone is entitled to their point of view but I don’t think people understand how they come off on the internet. The way this person has handled them self I don’t think I ever  want to meet them in person. When I saw that thy are not attending an event that I am going to I was overjoyed. They are short and snappish and I really don’t think being around that person would be good for either of us.  Said person might be attending some meetings with another group that I’m interested in meeting with but I’m sure that would be okay.

I don’t know anymore. Maybe I’m over thinking this all together but right now maybe some distance is what I need. Maybe I should just focus  on solitary practicing instead of group work.

On another note I think Hestia is calling to me. I’ve been researching her but there isn’t much out there that I can find. Guess it will be trial and error from now on.

004

So it’s been two months since my last post. Very typical of me. It’s not that I want to neglect my path but sometimes I let other things get in the way. I’m going to change that starting today.

Starting today I’m setting up a daily routine for myself, sort of like in high school. Before I sit at my computer I’m going to meditate or work on anything else on my path. I find I often say ‘oh, I’ll level my shammy for an hour and then get to work on…’ and that never happens. So now I’m going to reverse that. It’s now going to be ‘hey, first I’m going to do what I set out to do. I’m going to do something that actually matters then I’ll waste my time on things that don’t, like MMO’s.’ Sorry if that insults people who play MMO’s but I think I should make time to do things that will help me grow spiritually and as a person.

But before I can work on my faith (i know right?) I need to work on my messy apartment. So I’m going to hit ‘publish’ and then get started on my work. I will not sit down in front of this machine until I have accomplished something. While this sounds like common sense to other, to me it’s something I have to constantly work at. I had a wonderful routine before I was put on bed rest for two months, then it kind of went to pot. Time to reserect that routine.

Day One of that starts now.

Wish me luck.

003

Thanks to some of the people I talked to yesterday/last night I now know I was being silly about the Isis hating me thing. But today I feel worse instead of better. Oh well, what can I do?

My Athame still hasn’t arrived. I only really ordered one because the shops around here aren’t that great. The one I wanted I couldn’t get so I found something that would be just as nice online. I can always replace it later on too so that’s a bonus.

Art, Earth and Stone has a lot of things there that most of my spells call for. They have every gem and stone I would need. Cultures has incense that I can’t find anywhere else, a cute little incense holder that can do both stick and cone incense and  handcrafted books that would be good for a second paper book of shadows when I get to that point.

I still might look into making my own paper. I know that sounds a little crazy but I like the idea of getting herbs and flowers and pressing them into the paper to specialize it. I can also add oils to make the pages smell nice <3.

I have all these ideas today but tomorrow I’ll probably not want to do any of them. Oh well, c’est la vie.

Now it’s time to read up on Lammas and see what I can do alone since no one else wants to do anything.

002

First off, this is the spell I performed:

Bath and Candle Healing Spell

Supplies:

  • 1 blue candle
  • 1 oz. powdered ginger
  • 5 drops eucalyptus oil

Directions:

Run a hot bath. Add the ginger and the eucalyptus oil. Light the blue candle and turn out the lights. Enter the bathtub, and soak in the bath water. Feel the waters cleansing you of the toxins in your body, and say:

Isis, Goddess who heals all
Release this (name illness: cold, flu, etc.) from me
Make me well again.

Chant this as you feel the toxins leaving your body. When you feel slightly shaky (this will happen!), drain the tub and visualize the toxins washing down the drain. Rinse your body and your tub with cool water, visualizing all of the toxins washing off of your body, and your body becoming free of what you were sick with.

Bring the candle to your room and immediately go to bed, keeping the candle light for a few minutes as you visualize yourself waking up feeling much better.

/end Spell.

I think I messed it up. For one I put to much oil in and I don’t think I put enough ginger. Then I realized that the candle was purple not blue. When I dried myself off I ended up putting the candle out. I did the meditation in the bedroom but if I have messed this up badly will Isis be upset with me and exact vengeance? I hope I didn’t get in her bad books.

001

I’m sleepy. I’ve had lots of thoughts lately about the divine, attempting meditation and who I want to work with as to who I will end up working with.

I’m not that great at meditating. I’m attempting to work on it. My altar is still incomplete. My wand is drying out at my parents place and I still have not found a suitable athame. This is why I think I’m bad at meditation, my thoughts jump everywhere and it’s hard for me to organize them. It sometimes feels like I have ADHD. I feel like I just want to jump into this right away but I can’t because there’s still so much reading, researching and preparing before I can.

I’m really into candle magick thought. I want to see how many books I can get my hands on. I might need to hit up Chapters later.

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